MARRIAGE TIE OR BLOOD RELATION

An old sage of the Bini tribe from Okada town said that to consider between marriage tie and blood relation is like searching to find the sources of the tributaries and attempting to break their confluence asunder. This was during an introductory rite of a union as told by someone who was there. The Bini sage then went on to tell the story, thus.

A man had tied the knot with his long-time lover, despite many odds that wanted to set them apart. He was an Itsekiri in Bayelsa and she was a Ugep from Akwa Ibom. They were married for ten years and had four lovely kids. For all the years they were married, they basked in their full conjugal rights. The source of their confluence had died in the conjugal bliss. 

Now, as the custom of the community demands, during a certain rare festivity, every married son of the land must openly declare, in a town hall meeting of the community members, someone of his family to be in charge or be liable for the family's affairs in the absence of the man. The elders would question to clear their doubts. In that community, there was no will or documentation, just mutual consent.

When that man was called upon, the elders asked: "Who would you prefer among your family members to represent you or be in charge of your family affairs in your absence?" The man for a moment took counsel from his relatives beside him. Then he answered, "My first son or any of my children." He was questioned again and he made his preference for his child or children. "Are you saying your children come first before your wife?" Someone enquired and he affirmed it so. "Why do you prefer your children to your wife? Maybe you should let us know." He consulted a relative again and said before all, including his wife present, "She is not my blood or from our tribe. I would put my children first rather than her," he declared. 

Three years passed. The family had lived through hard times together to sustain life until one day, there was a breakthrough. The wife won a lottery that would benefit any person she desired. It involves millions in cash and a trip to London. The husband was beyond himself with excitement. Of course, this was his breakthrough. Who else is the beneficiary but him? He considered. 

When a group of the lottery organisers visited them at the community, the whole family, friends, and spectators were there. The organisers began to verify and document. They asked the woman, "Who do you wish to be the beneficiary?" When the husband stood up and came forward, he was rejected by the wife. She declared the beneficiary to be her biological mother. The husband in disbelief was the first to cry out, "But why!" The wife replied, "You are not my blood or even my tribe!" 

What became of the marriage tie and blood relation, I cannot say further. The Bini sage concluded.